Marriage as a Love Story in the Midst of War

Review of

Love and War: Find Your Way to Something Beautiful in Your Marriage

By John and Stasi Eldredge

WaterBrook Press, 2011 (222 pp, $14.99, paperback)

Rating 5/5

Cover from bn.com

F

ew people have blessed Christians by their words of what it means to be a man or woman of God than authors John and Stasi Eldredge. John, author of Wild at Heart, and Stasi, author of Captivating, team up in their latest book, Love & War, to discuss the realities of Christian marriage and to offer truths they have discovered through their twenty-five years of marriage. Their primary goal is to assure the reader that marriage is indeed difficult but that it is always worth fighting for. For it is when Christian couples dedicate themselves and their marriages to God that they will truly learn to love themselves, their spouse, and others as God intended them to love.

A primary theme appears several times throughout the book:  “We live in a love story that is set in the midst of a very real war.” The love story is twofold; not only does the Bible begin with the marriage of Adam and Eve in Eden and end with the marriage of Christ in Revelation to his bride, the church, but the love story also includes us in that God is at his very essence love (1 John 4:16), that he demonstrated his love for us through his offering of his Son, Jesus Christ,  and our greatest commands in the Bible revolve around the idea of love (Luke 10:27, among others). 

The war in which this love story is set is the present spiritual war on earth as a result of sin entering the world through the sin of Adam and Eve. The Bible tells us that “the whole world lies under the control of the evil one” (1 John 5:19) and that Satan, in fact, scours the whole earth, “looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). John and Stasi effectively persuade the reader to recognize the reality of the spiritual war in which we live. We have an enemy who desires to tear apart our marriage in order to prevent the work God is doing in our lives. John and Stasi successfully detail the ways in which Satan might work against our marriages and advocate diligent, persistent prayer together as our primary weapon against Satan’s attacks.

Though the enemy attempts to infiltrate our marriages, God ultimately fulfills his purposes. As a part of a love story in the midst of war, John and Stasi argue that God created marriage to be a “living, breathing portrait laid out before the eyes of the world so that they might see the story of the ages.” That is, God uses marriage as “the image of his love for his people, and our love for him.” One of the most profound moments I experienced while reading this book was allowing this truth to sink in, to recognize that God gives marriage such an important evangelistic role (and humbly acknowledging that I had not fully appreciated it before).

Moreover, I was most moved by a section explaining how God utilizes marriage not only for evangelistic purposes, but to transform those who are married. John and Stasi write:

“God lures us into marriage through life and sex and loneliness, or simply the fact that someone finally paid attention – all those reasons that you got married in the first place. It doesn’t really matter, he’ll do whatever it takes. He lures us into marriage and then uses it to transform us” (original emphasis).

Though we may enter marriage for any number of reasons (as noble as they might seem), God will use marriage to reveal to us our brokenness and cause us to rely more on him.

Overall, John and Stasi Eldredge encourage their readers to reflect upon their marriages and to prayerfully consider the issues contained in the book with their spouse rather than relying on the ever-so-popular “follow these simple steps and experience everlasting joy now” approach. John and Stasi are extremely honest in this book, sharing many stories from their own marriage (both highs and lows). It was encouraging to read that such a successful couple also deals with difficulties in marriage (they admit to having had seriously considered divorce two times during their marriage).

Love & War is an excellent book for couples to read together to consider their own patterns of living, the way they relate to their spouse, the way they interpret their spouse’s actions, the way they think about spiritual warfare, and how they can better meet the needs of their spouse – all while seeking the Lord’s will together through their marriage. John and Stasi deliver yet another Christian classic that will encourage its readers to not merely settle for a courteous détente, but to continuously strive to strengthen and redeem their marriages in order to experience together the wild adventure God intends marriage to be.

I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.

- Reviewed by Tyler Constable

Please rank my review below so that I can continue to receive books from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group to review!